Silent Hills

The desperate and lazy cicada songs echoed across the valley. After a heavy rain, dark clouds gave place to a beautiful dark blue sky. Meanwhile, the master - in a low voice and portraying a shy smile - formally started the 3 days zazen retreat.

The master, mr. Wolfram, is a middle age german guy. He has kind blue eyes, short hair and a thin face, that reminds a little of my father. His calm manners and somehow clumsy ways of dealing with the master robes reflect his pure practicing heart. He's a really nice guy. :)

Once again, rain started to fall heavily, making that delicious "washing your head out" sound inside the zendo. It was the perfect atmosphere to begin a journey throughout oneself's mind (or lack thereof).

The days began early, at 4:30, with a noisy wake up call followed by a sleepy 45 minutes zazen; during which the sky gradually turned clear again, and nature woke up. Mr. Kitamori, the temple's keeper, went at 6:00 to ring the big bell, while listening to the morning news in his old battery radio. (Reminds me of my granpa, who always wakes up at 5:00 and listen to the same radio program in the same old radio, for 30 years so far.) The bell echoes through the valley, far far away, and inside our heads for a long time.

The retreat went on calmly, as the master. Despite all the nature and environment around, the walls are the same as everywhere. Also the wild thoughts and painful legs. Somewhere in the lectures the question arised: how is zazen different from doing sports? "Zazen is not pleasant", was my first thought on this. And, in fact, it is not pleasant at all. But, if it is not pleasant why do we do it? This was another question raised in the discussion. "We're damn masochists!" :)

The struggling went on for the three days, broken by the delicious oriyoki meal times. Mr. Kitamura, who also cooked for us, is an old, short, bald japanese guy. He is not formally a monk, but working there for years gave him a sort of "enlightened" look. Apart from working at the temple, he runs a restaurant in Tokyo (which, by the way, I need to look for!), and makes delicious veggie dishes! I ate some things I have absolutely no idea of what were! I wish I could learn from him. :)))

We had no cerimonies, no chanting (except for oriyoki time) and no dokusan (interview with the master): it was a very informal and relaxed retreat, focused on zazen practices and lectures. Although I think cerimonies and chanting are an important part of training, the sesshin duties and timetable were very well organized and we had just the enough amount of everything!

The lectures where centered on Dogen's Shobogenzo. I'll close with one of my favorite and struggling quotes, from a chapter called Genjo koan (something like "realizing the fundamental point"):

"To study the Buddha Way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be realized by everything. When realized by everything, your body and mind as well as the bodies and minds of others drop away. No trace of enlightenment remains, and this no-trace continues endlessly."

:)